forever

you wish we can fly
and i tipped on my toes
but we see it's a lie
we don't know how to float

alas you and i
forget how to try
flap, flap, flap our wings
but pulled down by this abyss

sing a sad love lullaby
as we drop into this hole
our fingers intertwined
now we'll never let go

what ur looking for

my dear, it's simple.

as simple as life's
thousands of variables
reduced to just one equation
as clear as the
one truest truth
of all the things i offer
it's as beguiling,
as gut-wrenching
as conniving,
as bewitching

as love.

love stoned

ah, jadi kau sedang jatuh cinta
nyaman rasanya, bukan?

aku tahu, aku juga
sedang jatuh cinta

maka jika aku berbunga-bunga...
rangkaian itu untukmu,

tersenyumlah bersamaku

memento

when i die
remember i smiled
and laughed
with you, wreaths on our heads
keep in mind
in my subtle way
i loved
you and all your many ways

awan

awan pecah berbulir-bulir
dan kita berdansa di bawahnya
bersama hujan, bersama jutaan
jiwa yang terlantar kiranya
tapi kita tahu hujan,
dan yang memecah awan
tak ada 'terlantar' bagi kita:
kita di tengah hujan,
sedang jatuh cinta

Golconda

yours is a Golconda;
stunningly prepossessing
with the supposed shine of diamond mines
and it will heal.
but mine is evaporating
as we try here to say and speak
of nothingness and meaninglessness
of words we're both wanting to hear.

Telat.

maumu apa?
keriangan sudah lewat kini
kunjunganmu tak berarti

(un)secretive

i know you know
not a whit of anything i know,
only bits and bits and then pieces
stuck together in an enigma.
an unsolvable conundrum.
a secret that is mine, and i know it all alone
the chest is locked shut, tucked away into nowhere.
but like the chest i am
exuding tiny whispers in the air
alluding to pretended cluelessness.
you know as little as much.

hush hush

talk is cheap
so i won't say it to you
but the next time we take a picture
have a notice of what i'll sign for you

Go

i opened the door
and found a brick wall
a delusional galore
time halted, you stall

now i'll stop being naive
go on, get ready to start
it's time for you to leave
my head and my heart

Statis

soal cinta:
tidak ada yang berubah
masih diinginkan
masih dihindari

come together

we know what it's all about:
broken hearts all over the world
come, unite
let's be broken together
be beaten down together
let's all hold hands
take off your masks
frown that forced smile
altogether now,
cry.

Sumpah Sampah

hari ini kelabu
begitu warna langit menfatwa hati
fluktuasi rasa berhenti dan singgah
di tempat rendah yang paling bawah

tapi sedih itu indah
dan lebih indah jika aku sedih karenamu
berbohong mengatakan, "tidak apa-apa"
tersenyum mengobati luka dengan menusuk-nusuknya

kita berangkulan kemudian dalam hati
bersumpah tidak akan saling mengenang
sumpah kosong sumpah bohong
sumpah,

sampah

sekarang

sungguh jika bisa,
kedatanganku padamu adalah segera
kelahiranku bukanlah dari kenangan
atau sekedar inginmu akan harapan

tak bisakah aku dia yang belum bernama
lalu muncul dari tengah waktu
yang sekarang kau anggap nyaman
yang sekarang kau sebut sekarang

Revelation

this kind of suffocation is unfair
you, mesmerizing me with that stare
all the while I have to look at the ground
I fear my eyes will tell you how my heart pounds

this game is an elaborate one
it's so highly structured that i'm giving up
I can no longer play it incognito
and that is a truth that we both already know

i dream to peacefully exit with the rain
to weep into the midnight without feeling any pain
but no, there you are with a pretended unawareness
belittling me to an unbearable shame

Clarity

flower-like colorful dots in the sky
made the heart flutter
gone go the heart-shaped ice
away with the coming of a clearer picture

Air dan Kematian

Akan kucintai (tanah) air ini
Ketika engkau benar-benar mati
Ketika aku benar-benar mati

Ketika aku benar-benar mati

Confusion

it's the "sure. fine. whatever." you don't hear correctly
or at least disingenuously construe
where's your fine sense of imagination?
i can't believe you still have no clue.

Memento Mori

Pak, bapak lihat awan?
mereka bergulungan di atas kita
(aku menatap langit yang tak biru, tertutup putih seluruhnya)
(lelah mereka menbentuk bentuk, cukup 1 permadani besar di atas sana)

Pak, aku yakin mereka berhati
merasa sama sepertimu dan aku
(merasa waktu mendetak dan mendetiki hidupnya)
(merasa hancur luntur bertangisan berkabung dirundung duka)

tapi Pak, langit yang begitu sedih tak pernah nampak sebelumnya
adakah ia menemaniku perlahan kehilanganmu?
(apakah ia menemanimu perlahan kehilanganku?)
(apakah ia menemanimu menangisi matiku hari ini?)

Pak, begitu indah hari ini
(langit begitu sedih kita tatap berlinangan)

Limbung

mendadak aku limbung melihatnya malam ini

tapi aku hanya bisa pulang.